To be safe up here with you.

This month marks a year since I’ve written a cohesive story. My heart hurts just writing that sentence. I wish I could tell you it was one particular thing that kept me blocked or that it was a combination of this and that with a little bit of this mixed in. Truth be told I have no idea what caused my creativity to be so stifled. I could say it was the election. I could say it was the consistent and horrible news this year seemed in massive supply of. The worst is not knowing. All I know for sure is that it made this year even more unbearable. Writing is like breathing to me so every day, week, and month gone without something to show for it often left me wondering: Is this it? Is it time to move on? Or is this the best thing for me right now? Could this break be the thing I didn’t know I needed? Well, I’ve learned to stop worrying about the why and work on the when. When am I going to take a sledgehammer to this wall and get it out of my way? As luck would have it salvation has come in the form of something I know very well…

Powering through.

Here’s the thing that haunts me the most: that I’m not good enough. I see authors I admire post about signings, events and other amazing things happening with their careers and that damn seed of self-doubt, of fear, of bitterness is planted. It creeps back in and freezes my fingers on the keyboard. It’s the worst feeling in the world.

Eyes like a car crash.

A week into it and this new project and I have had our good days and our bad days. We’re teetering on the fence of more good than bad as of late and I thank this song for that. One of the few on the present playlist, the tone and lyrics set me right in the thick of the plot and it is often on constant repeat. Ladies and gentlemen, this musical interlude is brought to you by Bring Me the Horizon.

I watch you like a hawk
I watch you like I’m gonna tear you limb from limb
Will the hunger ever stop?
Can we simply starve this sin?

Turn the writer on.

I’m always a jumble of nerves before starting a new project. Today is no exception. Tomorrow marks the first day of another long journey into the writing cave. It’s been a month since I last ventured inside and I’m all packed, ready to dive back in.